Processing a Valentine Memory

Yesterday, a Facebook memory appeared on my feed, the following blog post from 2014.  It rather put me into a funk:

Life-Work Balance for a Stay at Home Mom

I read it over with mixed emotions, remembering how happy Brent and I were with the good orthopedic news in New York, and how quickly that news changed when the pathology call came from University Hospitals.  I recall being concerned at how soon he developed cancer number two...and that metastatic melanoma was nothing to sneeze at.  I didn't realize it at the time, but melanoma was the easiest diagnosis that Brent would face, one that allowed him to get shots at home and attend school.  All things considered, it was a pretty great year.

I feel that re-posting this blog is worthwhile because it still rings true with regard to how Dan makes the kids' lives special, whenever I sort of check out.  Olivia has had many birthdays where I have been in hospital, racing home from one, or medically preoccupied.  Dan is the father that steps in, creates magic and finds joy, particularly when my stores are depleted.  I am incredibly grateful for this. I often tease that I should marry that man. 

The snarky part of me thinks that I could just edit that post, Mad Lib style, leaving blanks for cancer diagnosis, name of hospital and current crisis to be filled in each year, (Lauren managed to escape from Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital from flu, fever and neutropenia with a full day to spare, in case you are filling in the form.)

However, the better part of me is glad that we managed to focus on the simple but important things over these years: being together and strengthening our bonds as a family. My children have always looked out for one another, both in celebration and in challenge. What brings me most joy, is knowing that I am not the facilitator of their relationships, because they independently look out for one another.  I have always thought that our work as parents is to make ourselves non-essential.

Olivia has been such a blessing in our family, from the very beginning. Today we celebrate the gift of her, with Dan, once again, taking the lead in making her day special. Happy Birthday Olivia!  And Happy Valentines Day!